Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History- Jill Conner Browne of the Sweet Potato Queens

"Heeeeeyycuteshoestellyamommahi!" The classic greeting of a Sweet Potato Queen. If you have not heard of these infamous women who reside in Jackson, Mississippi, you need to acquaint yourself with them here and now. Especially if you are a woman over the age of, oh.. let's say 40-ish, and more especially, if you are a Southern gal. There are several books written by Jill Conner Browne, the lead Queen and one of my idols. The SPQ are all about making your own fun, hence the silly costumes they wear. Who wouldn't like to dress up like someone else for a day and just let loose?! It all began with a St. Patrick's Day parade many years ago and a few ladies who appointed themselves queens of that parade because like Jill said, in the words of Suzanne Sugarbaker, "There is just nothing better than riding in a convertible with a tiara on your head." Through the years, the SPQ have gotten quite a following, groupies called Wannabee's and even Wannabee Wannabee's, to the point that the annual parade draws tens of thousands of people from all over now. They all come to see these ladies (in their green-sequined and amply augmented dresses, pink drum-majorette boots and silk gloves, and big-haired red wigs) get out there and shake what their mommas gave 'em! The books are an easy fun read, but be warned, you WILL find yourself laughing out loud! I personally have passed my copies of them on to 6 or 7 friends, cousins, aunts, and my mom, and am currently re-reading them for the ?nth time.  The Queens believe in eating as an art form and that pretty much anything is better with bacon in it. All of their books contain a section of "death-defying" recipes that sound sinfully good. I must say that I did not know until I read it, that you can boil an ENTIRE can of sweetened condensed milk to caramelize it, but you do have to be careful that it doesn't explode! They also have lots of great advice about men, funny stories, tips on getting that Queenly look, and the how-to on "lolling about"-the official activity of the SPQ.  Oh, and the info on how to order Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margaritas! So now you  know... who wrote the book of love....that is, "The Sweet Potato Queen's Book of Love".

Taking life with a grain of salt,... accompanied by a large margarita

   It's been a while since I blogged, and most everyone knows what has happened to me since my last post. In short, my asshole husband decided to up and have a mid-life crisis. First of all, he hit me with it on Mother's Day...my very first one as a REAL gen-u-wine mom, thank you very much! I went through about 48 hours of non-stop crying and trying to figure out "why?", then I sort of made peace with it, stopped wanting him to change his mind and come back, and decided that my boys and I will be okay,... just maybe even better. I was strong. I was resourceful. I was kidding myself.
   The 2nd wave hit me when I found out that yes, he was already seeing other women and that's probably why he left me. The 3rd when we were at the attorney's office filing the papers. I just wanted to be alone for a while so I could have a good cry and get it all out. When I was alone, I found myself too angry to cry...then too depressed. Too depressed to cry? Wow, I never knew that level of apathy even existed, but I seriously just wanted to lie on the gorgeous new leather sofa I bought (to replace the crappy old one that he took when he moved out) and do nothing. Lucky for me, I have some great friends who have made a point of keeping me from becoming one with the sofa. Going to see funny chick-flicks, drinking happy hour watermelon margaritas, planning beach vacations...all a part of my new life. A life I never thought I would have...being single at 46.
   I have one very best friend who has been my inspiration, my amazing mom. She has sent me card after card, called me at least once a day, and reminded me of the long line of strong women whose blood is coursing through my veins. My mom is the strongest woman I know. She married my dad young and was a stay-at-home-mom who took good care of us, and though she didn't go to college, it was very important to her and my dad that I did. When I walked across the stage and got my Bachelor's degree she knew that I could take care of myself. When my dad died suddenly, 19 years ago, she took a computer class at the local college and got a job. When she got breast cancer, she kept a positive attitiude and never missed a day of work. I could give more examples, but you get the idea. Tough cookie.
   Now it's my turn. As I raise these boys, with the goal of teaching them to become men who respect women, I have to be strong. I will be fine, even if I have to keep reminding myself of that...often. Thanks to my parents never letting me think that college was optional, I have a career so that I make enough to provide for my little family and keep my house. And speaking of keeping a house or house-keeping, I never, ever, ever have to clean up a nasty man-bathroom again! And I will teach my boys to clean up after themselves, someday their wives will appreciate me for that.
   Right now, I just don't have it in me to be as strong as I need to. I just feel tired and as the song goes "my give a damn's busted". I need to find that spark in me and make it burn big as a bonfire. I'm not sure what it will take to ignite it. I'm planning a beach trip with a few skinny friends, so you would think that would inspire this fat chick to get off the couch and get going. But no. I feel like I just want to sleep for 3 days, but when I lay down, I can't stay asleep for 3 hours. So, that's kind of where I am right now.
   I've received so many sweet messages from caring strong women who believe in me, and yes, I know that what they are saying is true. Time does heal, life goes on, things will get better and karma is a bitch (he WILL get his!) I promise that I will lose the blues and my next post will be more happy and shiny :) Just gotta put on my big girl panties and deal with it!